Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
