Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
There was a lot of him and a little penis
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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