I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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