id be glad to
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
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