heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
