I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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