i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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