Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
