That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
