just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
