im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Randomize
