i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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