sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
