Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Randomize
