Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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