Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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