so explain again why im purple
no
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
