I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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