Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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