wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
