Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
actually, I'm a sock model
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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