to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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