So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
