okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
