i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Randomize
