I wish I only lived at night.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
