it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
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