I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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