it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
