white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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