My boss' voice literally gives me gas
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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