Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize