dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize