Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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