I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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