I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
