soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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