With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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