There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
How many fucks given?
0.12846
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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