I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Randomize
