I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
