you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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