I want to make a zoo with you.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Randomize
