we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
They have beer where we have blood.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Randomize
