Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Screwed.edu
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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