Kareoke will never be a sober sport
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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