if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
