If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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