whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Plan B is the new Plan A
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
