so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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