Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Randomize
