Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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