While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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