I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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