At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Randomize
